Monday, October 25, 2010

Three Star Service for the 'Average Joe'





                                           (Image Source: NDTV.com)         


Some of my fondest childhood memories begin with some journey or the other. Of these, I vividly remember waiting for a Sunday where my Dad used to take me on a special joyride. We used to head out to the ‘Mahim’ Bus-Depot and wait for the 'Double-Decker' to arrive. The empty bus used to be standing there in the parking bay and i used to run up to the upper deck and plonk myself down on the first seat in the front.

Then would begin a special ride into town and back; where Dad used to fondly point out the various landmarks. Unfortunately for him, his 5-year old was keener on enjoying the wind rushing into his face.

The reality of growing-up soon hit home and the joy-rides were eventually replaced by commutes in a aluminum can on wheels. Many a commute like this was associated with a steam bath, as the over-packed bus trundled its way through the overcrowded streets of the 'City that never sleeps'. 

The memories of the wind-rush were soon replaced by grime and sweat with not an inch to move. While the common man was subjected to such a ride, another memory was making an indelible mark on me.

The corporate czar/czarina would waft past our trundling bus, in their cocooned luxury. Just the mere sight of this would send me into world of wishful thinking. Even more saddening for us commuters would be the look on the faces of the Bus-Driver and Conductor. While us commuters could aspire to someday own/be driven down in these magnificent luxury chariots; for the Driver/Conductor; it seemed like just another dream. 

Then, in the earlier part of the decade, some one up there must have finally heard the prayers of the millions commuting daily through the traffic-clogged streets of the city. The common-man finally cheered the introduction of Air-conditioned buses on the streets.

Finally for some lucky commuters who had climbed up the economic ladder could now ride on well cushioned seats and a cool draft of air cocooning them from the noise and grime of the dusty streets. 

And this city never looked back. Slowly but surely, the patronage increased and BEST soon out-grew these buses. The influx of funds from International lenders for upgrading the road infrastructure saw the introduction of 'Kinglong' buses of Chinese origin. However, there have been regular instances of break-downs and a few of them even reported to have caught fire. 

Fresh developments have brought a cheer to the people of this city. It has been reported that Mercedes-Benz India Ltd. has graciously agreed to put their luxury buses at the service of the common-man. 

Yippeeeee!!!! 

This is one of the most exciting things to happen on the streets of our city. Imagine, the ‘Average Joe’ getting an opportunity to experience some German goodness. The day is not too far when we hear of the 'Average Joe' having a conversation with his Manager similar to the one below:

Joe: "Good morning Sir." How was the drive to work today?"
Manager: "Good morning 'Joe'. I went through a tough time driving in the traffic today. You on the other hand seem extremely happy these days."

Joe: "Yes Sir. I take a Mercedes to work these days.
Manager (Impressed): "Really! The company gave you a raise that I'm unaware of or did you win a lottery or something."

Joe (Beaming with pride): "No sir! It is all thanks to Mercedes and the B.E.S.T. that we can come to work as luxuriously as the higher ups.
Manager: "Wow! Here me and the rest of the management team struggle through traffic in our driving machines while you guys now waft past us. 
Joe: "Alright Sir, I shall take your leave now. Good day."

(The Manager is heard muttering 'Mercedes, eh' as the lift doors close)

Happy Landings!


What a day!!!

It all begins with the gatekeeper bars him from entering the hallowed doors…so the recruit paces silently as the General comes marching in some moments later….

The usual pleasantries exchanged, mission outlined, the briefing continues… a jolly good welcome session later, the troops start marching in…Introductions galore, smiles all around, the warriors begin to settle into the battles for the day….as he awaits the arrival of his Commander, the recruit does a speed run through the documentation available… Realization dawns that this is a never-before encountered battlefield…This is quickly confirmed as the abbreviations start to fly thick and fast and the new recruit is reeling under the impact; while the smiles around indicate that the shelling has just begun…

Just as he’s trying to come up to speed, the Major comes in and kicks things up to another level…things move rapidly and his world gets re-arranged as his online and offline worlds merge into each-other… The counter offensive comes in the form of a zillion queries, which the Major explains all so very patiently….

The General too chips in with encouraging pep-talks regularly. His whole life gets rearranged in a chirp and a tweet and he barely manages to keep his nose above water. Just as he’s thinking about the unthinkable; the sweet angel of a Major that he’s got, reminds him that its time to refuel… A splash, a dash and a growl full of surprise later, the pit-stop is out of the way and its now vroom vroom time :)


Finally the recruit is on familiar ground…. terra firma as he’s known it. But wait! Something’s changed… aah maybe its those run-flat shoes…So he delves deep into the bowels of a battle-ground to dig out some dirt and muddy his new uniform…

amidst all this, the General takes advantage of a lull in his battle-plan and takes him on a short visit to the other ground… back up the stairs, its business as usual…a flourish of activity; some deep discussion with the lovely Major and a final check with the General over the execution to be carried out later; its time for the curtain to fall...


And so the soldier troops out of the war-room, relieved and pleased with having survived the day. But even more so, he’s happy that the war-room survived his noobie onslaught and will be awaiting him when he troops back in next :)